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BitBuster

Tell us a joke

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Not so much a joke as a weird observation....

 

I work in an office building. In the hallway outside the office to the elevators, there are paintings (prints) on the walls. What are they paintings of? Hallways!

 

And in those hallways in those paintings in my hallway, what's on the walls? Paintings!

 

And I imagine if I could make out what's in those paintings...they would be hallways.....

 

ARRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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The only issue I see with "Walker the Frog" is that it basically has two puns. :P

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An atom walks into a bar. The bartender is getting the atom a drink when suddenly it begins to cry. The bartender asks "What's the matter?"

 

The atom cries even more.

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Probably somewhat old by now, but still worth it:

 

"Who sang that song that goes like 'i got passion in my pants and i ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it...'?"

> "L.M.F.A.O."

> "lmfao"

> "LMFAO"

> "lmfao"

> "lmfao"

"What's so funny?!?"

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I was just going to revive this topic....
 
Anyway, I was just watching "Jeopardy!". One of the categories was something about body parts (i missed the beginning and couldn't read the category on screen or tell what the contestants said) and one of the clues was
 

Your shoe and your mouth both have one.

 
The correct answer was "What is a tongue?"
My immediate thought was "What is a foot?"

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“Have i told you the story about the birds and the bees?”
“I don't think so.”
“Well, you see, when a bird and a bee love each other very much…”

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When I was younger, my brother once asked me, "Why did the chicken cross the road?", to which I replied "To get to the other side."

 

Apparently, this was not the correct answer, as he then proceeded to scream right in my face "NO, IT'S BECAUSE IT DID - LIVE WITH IT!" before storming off and throwing a chair at a wall.

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“Have i told you the story about the birds and the bees?”

“I don't think so.”

“Well, you see, when a bird and a bee love each other very much…”

 

...one of them is going to get hurt very badly....

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Yesterday, I overheard someone talking about the contraction of muscles. Sounds like an awful disease. I hope its not related to measles.....

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Two blondes walked into a bar, ordered drinks, and sat down. They proceeded to clink their glasses and excitedly shout, "54 days! 54 days!"

 

Then a third blonde joined them with her drink, and the three repeatedly clinked their glasses and exclaimed, "54 days! 54 days!"

 

The bartender could not contain his curiosity. He walked over to the table and said, "I couldn't help but notice your happy celebration. Just what are you toasting?"

 

One of the blondes replied, "We found a jigsaw puzzle that said 2-3 years. But the three of us solved it in just 54 days!!!"

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An atom walks into a bar. The bartender is getting the atom a drink when suddenly it begins to cry. The bartender asks "What's the matter?"

 

The atom cries even more.

 

 

I realize an atom might be sensitive about its lack of matter, but why was he crying before the bartender said anything?

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What's the difference between the North pole and the South pole?

 

 

All the difference in the world!

What's the difference between always going up and always going down?

 

No official CC level can be solved by always going up. (Until someone adds one to CCLP5 to break the joke...)

 

 

How do you see osmosis in action?

 

Put salt on a snail.

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