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Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer

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Of course!

I hope I can explain myself well enough, here, but, 

If there were a small room where the ceiling, the floor, the walls and every object inside glow in the dark, would there be enough light for everything to stop glowing?

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You just type in the coordinates you want Chip to move to and then he tries to move there as if you clicked on that tile. Oh, and it's still in realtime.

If you played Chip's Challenge on a Porsche, would that be a justifiable excuse for why you drove right into a truck?

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Not really, because the trucker could be clever enough to punch you in the face and say "sorry, but I was playing Chip's Challenge on my fist". 

 

If Chip's Challenge is being played on a Porsche, is it being played on a screen built into the Porsche, but with a controller, or is the Porsche itself the controller, and where you end up depends entirely on the level you're trying to solve?

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She's underage!

Why are people convinced that BBC stands for something other than Bit Busters Club?

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because they are british and think the bit busters club is actually a news broadcaster

are the rumours true? did Chip really pay a teeth monster to let him put his, er chip, in its mouth?

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Hey, Melinda wasn't feeling up to it that day.

Why are the light switches in CC2 placed on the floor? Do Chip and Melinda have to kick them on and off?

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That's not the floor, that's the wall. Compare with the orientation of the in-game characters, and of your computer screen.

What dumb question should I ask next?

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If you look at Chip (facing downward) then if you look at a tank facing downward, you can see that the tank is from a top-down bird's-eye orientation whilst Chip looks like he is standing upright.

Does that mean all this time Chip has actually been lying on the ground, and instead of walking he just shuffles along on his back/front/side?

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No, it means the tank is always hilariously tilted over.

What does Vladimir look like? Need to know because a guy who knows a friend of mine is writing a CC2 fancomic.

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Glasses, bald head, square manly chin, nose bent to the side because of a past fight, big black bushy beard.

If, instead of Chip losing the level and having to restart after just one hit, he had an energy bar allowing him to take multiple hits; would that be a great idea or a terrible idea?

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I bet more than half of CC players would think it’s a good idea, but would still stick with the 1 hit death.

Why do bombs in CC act more like landmines than actual bombs with a lit fuse?

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The ball with lit fuse design may have been chosen for the graphic because it can be instantly recognised by everyone, plus it's a very simple design which is handy because CC graphics are small and have limited pixels.

The tool thief probably makes money from selling the tools he steals from you, but what does the key thief do with all those keys? Noone is going to buy a random key.

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The key thief uses the keys to break into Chip's house and steal all of his money. Much easier than the tool thief trying to sell off his random boots. (Though if the tool thief gets a bribe - a treasure chest full of gold and alcohol - key thief will be wishing he'd gotten a different profession.)

Why doesn't the tank just shoot Chip? Why does it let Chip control it, anyways? Who's driving the tank?

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All tanks are operated by the Clubhouse Central Computer Controller Core, which was built with a partial implementation of the First Law of Robotics: it is unable to perform any action that will definitely result in Chip's death, but it is quite free to set up death traps for Chip to navigate.

Why is Gamora?

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